All Souls has been talking up ‘a Passion for Life‘ – the Nationwide initiative starting in March next year that’s set to draw churches together for a series of evangelical events. I’m looking forward to it. It reminds me of Billy Graham, back in the 90s, the reason that my family started going to North Cheam Baptist Church.

And so I picked up a couple of ‘London’s Biggest Survey Ever’ leaflets and gave it them to the girls back in the office. The younger, a Celebrity Exec, was genuinely inspired by it. “Only one questions?” she asked..”But what if I have more than one?”
I laughed, “Fill in two surveys then!”

I’m still waiting to hear what my boss thinks of it all? She says she’s Catholic..

We got to talking about what ‘a Passion for Life” would be like, and she watched the short film on the website which explains everything – and eventually the conversation turned to Christian music. – would there be celebs there? Famous Christian bands? We counted a few, sorry to say, uninspiring celebs we knew who are Christians; Cliff Richard, Whitney Houston (but she’s probably not a practising Christian? right?..Unfortunately she’s not heard of the likes of Tim Hughes, Delirious? or Casting Crowns

She’s into rap..and found a REALLY bad video on Youtube – i’ve been traumatised, sorry and can’t remember who it was, but then she found this fantastic rapper called God’s Block.

I listen to the Worship Central podcast every month – which i think is mainly for Worship Leaders (of which i’m not) – but i LOVE it! I only know of one UK Christian Radio station – Premier Radio doesn’t feature more contemporary – i know they pop a couple medium paced worship songs into Inspirational Breakfast – but what of Christian Rock, or Rap? I’d love to get the survey results on who the Premier Radio listener is.

And so, one of the hardest and full on weeks started on Monday with me travelling to Great Missenden, the home of Roald Dahl. Twentieth Century Fox organised a press junket for Domestic and Brit press ahead of the World Premier of Fantastic Mr Fox, at BFI London Film Festival yesterday. It was a beautiful day – the sun was shining, the schedule ran more or less to plan and i got to take a second look at Roald Dahl and his fabulous story telling.

I realise that i need a writing hut just like Roald Dahl’s if i’m going to get published. It needs a battered old chair, family photos and an old filing cabinet. Dahl has his own hip bone among the nick naks on his desk, but I’d probably stick with pencil sharpeners and maybe a rubix cube or two. Liccy, his widow, has left the hut untouched, so it looks like Roald Dahl has popped out for a stroll and will be back at any moment.

I visited the Roald Dahl museum gift shop and bought a collection of his short stories and his autobiographies; Boy & Going Solo. Boy has already made me lol on the tube.

The Premier last night was amazing. Leicester Square was completely taken over, with a bridge between the Odeon and the Empire cinemas. BFI Director, Artistic Director, Amanda Nevill introduced the 53rd LFF, and then introduced Wes Anderson, who in turn introduced George Clooney, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, Eric Anderson (yes, his brother!) Jarvis Cocker and Liccy Dahl.

I wondered why Sophie Dahl has not been involved at all. I think she’s too busy launching her own book to help promote her Grandfather.

So..Fellowship Groups started again this Tuesday for the Autumn/Winter season. We’re reading 1 Samuel – and so far so good! I’m trying to understand Hannah, and what sort of belief/faith it takes for you to continuously ask God for something for half your life, and still love God – even when you don’t receive. And then when you do receive..to love him enough to give it back to him?!

You would think a story like that would move me to Prayer, right?! I’m telling you…my words don’t even catch in my throat…they hang about hotly around my ears somewhere.

I’m not taking this lightly..and i have to find some sort of cure. I mean..I’ve taken exams; i studied at University..i WRITE POETRY!?? And i can’t pray?

There were five of us last night….and at the end of the study we all voiced our prayer requests. R wrote them into an email which would later be mailed to each of us – and then we bowed our heads.

R is so eloquent, but it may have been easier for him as he had just written the prayer requests down. S has only been a committed Christian for about 2 years – but even within a year she’d thrown herself into working with ASLAN and other All Souls related things. She prays with her heart….an articulate keening expression of faith.

B is a quiet soul, and this reflects in her prayers. She’s thoughtful, and will pick a strand that touches each of us, to lift us infront of God our Father. M is clear-cut, and his uncomplicated and confident prayers were short and sharp.

Why can’t i?

I had a dream last night about the poetry events i’m working on for Michael Horovitz and Alexander De Cadenet. In it, i was was making calls, and sending email after email to journalists with a growing sense of apprehension.

Weird dreams..the spot that’s erupted on my cheek this morning…i must be stressed!

And this isn’t even taking the wedding plans into account! My Facebook status asked the question: Can i get out of table planning by putting on a game of Musical Chairs for the wedding? I have a suspicion that maybe not.

My to do list:
Find a florist
Buy a Bridesmaid dress, plus the Flower Girls and Page Boys
Tally the Tables
Dig out a DJ
Save the Dates – (are these lost in the post or what?!!)
Write the wording for the invites

Getting off the tube this morning – i stepped out on to a wet and windy Oxford Circus. It was a bit miserable – but as i slipped on the wet pavement i nearly cried! If that wasn’t bad enough – the Big Issue seller turned to me and said – ‘you falling for me love?’ – but instead of scowling, i laughed!

I’ve been contemplating getting a tattoo – well it was meant to be just the one. Now, i’m thinking of having a bible verse on my wrist as well – 1 John 4:10.

Mum’ll kill me.

A post by email?

This may of course sound ignorant to professional bloggers, often happenstancers… But, i’ve just discovered that i can quickly update my blog by sending myself and email! Genius!

Poets are brave souls. Not only do they pour out their heart into their PCs, choosing the most eloquent words to describe the sometimes stained, sometimes rank, always kaleidoscopic world we live in; they also read them out!

So, knees knocking, i also performed..and it does felt good!

This year my favourites were: ‘Poets in Residence’ Aiko Harman (Link here) and Rowena Knight (Link here).

I was in awe of quietly spoken poetry legend, Michael Horovitz (Link here), both he and his son, Adam read – leaving me feeling as though i’d met the First Family or something!

Prolific writer, and The London Poetry Festival organiser Munayem Mayenin (Link here) gave me a copy of his life’s work – Laranska, The Anatomy of fear…i’m thinking i should get reading!

The Winning Ticket
Dom Perignon and a bumptious new friend,
Danced on my head Sunday morning.
Sock and braless note a rambunctious end
A man on the floor still snoring.

I might be visiting little old ladies soon. It’s something I’d not thought of doing before…

More respectfully speaking – not reading an email properly has led me to meet up With Roger Salisbury at All Souls, who looks after Pastoral care at the Church. He’s organising members to ‘visit’ elderly members   who can’t get out anymore. Some of which have been attending All Souls for over 50 years.

I’ve only worked with the elderly once before. I briefly volunteered work at an old people’s home when I was about 16 years old. I remember the musty smell of the place: the ancient looking lady who always came to ask me if I had seen her daughter, and the harassed looking staff in crumpled blue uniforms. 

I was in charge of cooking their tea. It’s how I learned how to make poached eggs in a pan of boiling water. I can’t even remember why I left.

And so…with this new opportunity to ‘get involved’ and give up the Eastenders Omnibus (is there anything more depressing on tele these days?) I’m wanting to try really hard this time and show a bit more commitment (being 17 years on and all!)

Daffodils, marble cake, and scrabble? Roger Salisbury advised conversation and a whole heap of honesty. If you don’t think you can deliver something – don’t offer to try and do it. You’ll just be letting yourself and the person on the receiving end down.

A recent incident has had me thinking about the definition of ‘appropriate behaviour’.  An old fashioned notion…or, is it?

For ages I’ve been meaning to meet up with a male ex work friend for a catch up – and last night our diaries finally coincided. We’d bantered over email about timings and venue, settling on Strada (2 for 1 pizza!!) .

Admittedly..(and here is the first instance of my being inappropriate), because I’d had to wait an hour for him, I’d already had a glass of wine when he finally arrived. I’d been people watching – it was a bright and balmy evening.

With the conversation on work, redundancies and mutual friends – i’d settled into ‘relaxed’ mode when he clocked my engagement ring.

“You’re engaged?!” His eyes were pizza round.

I suddenly felt stripped. What had he been thinking all this time? Worse still; what did he think I had been thinking? He’s single, and is obviously up for dating – maybe he thought we were on a DATE!!

Replaying our conversations I cringed; I can be flirtations and familiar with friends, especially once I’ve had a glass of wine.  I wouldn’t have blamed him for thinking I’d led him on.

Of course, once I’d shown him a picture of my fiancé and we’d laughed at him being out of the loop in not knowing about him, we where fine. He stopped with the innuendos, and I had another glass of wine.

So today had be thinking – Plato must have been a Christian. ‘Platonic’ friendship – or Plato’s theory of love refers to a relationship where there’s no form of sexual interest at all; just as Jesus taught:

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another (John 13:34)

And, if I may repeat myself: 1 Thessalonians 4:1-12 (I mentioned this yesterday)

‘God’s will is that we should be sanctified’.

Eddie Murphy stars in a new film coming out just after Father’s Day. It’s called Imagine That – and has the cutest little girl playing alongside him, Yara Shahidi. Impressions last though – and I can’t help but judge him against news stories a few years ago with regards to his treatment of Melanie Brown (now married to Stephen Belafonte) and his subsequent estrangement from the daughter they have together.

Thinking about Eddie Murphy’s actions made me think of 1 Thessalonians 4:1-12 (the subject of which Hugh Palmer spoke about at All Souls gave on Sunday 24^th ) ‘ God’s will is that we should be sanctified’ – not an easy thing in this day and age; when it’s ‘normal’ to have relationships – and abnormal to be abstinent. Even refusing an alcoholic drink in a pub issues weird glances these days! “Are you ok?”…”You’re not pregnant are you?”

But I can see the reason for it. It saves the heart ache – and complications that result from brief relationships that can result in children.

I look forward to my Wednesday evenings at the moment. Usually a blah in the week, with the only note of optimism being that it’s a day closer to the weekend, it’s now the night that I meet Darren after work for a quick drink and then off to Christianity Explored.

CE at All Souls is for peeps who have questions about Christianity; those big questions that are a wall against faith and understanding.  I’m praying that Darren is asking all of his questions, and so that he can at least start peeping over the wall.

We’re spread across 8 different tables with leaders who help us with queries. The evening starts with a meal (cooked by an ex-Claridges chef!) and then there are talks and discussions.

Yesterday, there was a woman who had a whole heap of questions…the only problem was that instead of asking them within her group she kept shouting out her queries while Michael Hull, who leads the evenings, was trying to give his talk.

She was aggressive and confrontational – and I immediately jumped to the conclusion that she playing devil’s advocate to prove CE a farce. Darren pointed out to me that she was Polish – and probably didn’t fully understand Mike’s strand of thought, or didn’t understand English very well.

I’ll leave my armour at home next time.

A small office in the heart of Soho..

There’s a whole street of porn shops down the road (past Mrs Kibble’s Olde Sweet Shoppe). And, if i jostle through the site seers, suits and homeless, I’m suddenly in the main thoroughfare of the music, magazine and film industries.

In the evening, most of the restaurants will put out big black sacks and boxes full of left over food, scraps and wrappers.

The pubs and clubs will start to hum with the sound of drinkers and drunks.

It’s busy in London.

And I am a Christian.